I don’t know if any of you feel this but I feel happy but also feel like I got something to do but can’t remember. I feel this urge to do get up and do it but then I am like what can I do? So, I end up running. I run and exercise a lot now. I feel that helps with the urge to do something. In the Abilify information sheet the pharmacy hands out it says not to over exercise. I wonder what they mean with that? Do they mean if I exercise too much I will have a heart attack because the chances are high with this medicine? Or are they trying to say that this medication causes us to feel the urge to over exercise and we shouldn’t over do it because it would stress out our body and our hearts? So many questions lol, sorry. Hey anyways it’s so weird that actually also makes me so sleepy yet so active at the same time. If any of you are doctors or know from experience anything about this medication let me know. It is definitely causing some changes in my life. I am hoping it is only for the best yet there are some things that I can say aren’t that good ya know!
Today has been a great day. Have you had those days where things seem chill? Your heart and breathing at a moderate pace. I do still have that dang anxiety, so I want to eat a lot. I would like to be eating ice cream right now, but I know it’s bad for me, so I am being strong and not eating it. Soon I’d like to talk about my life. I don’t know if this would be interesting to anyone but at least it will no longer be a secret I need to hide to protect my family’s face. I think in me and my brain that no one has had to face so much pain, fear, violence and mental health breakdown as myself. I feel like I have been resilient besides all that has happened to me and around me. Now, life/my family seems like nothing ever happened. It seems like we are just this perfect family. I now take 3 different types of medications and it seems like they don’t really care. Why should they? They don’t even think it’s true what I feel or go through. At least that’s how it feels like, no one really cares or listens because they have never had to face all of what my body, mind, and spirit is facing just to be alive. Anyways let leave this for another day. Good night, everyone!
It's 12am and I can't sleep. I feel like crying but why? I feel anxious. I feel like I am here but not here. Those of you who feel it know how I feel. I started taking Abilify around 3 weeks ago. I have stopped having insomnia, I mean it's not that bad anymore. I actually go to sleep before 2am and then wake up early (around 6:30am). I feel like I am no longer lazy. I feel motivated to do more things. I am definitely more active but to the point that I can't stay still. I have so many ideas and I feel like I don't know where to run to to complete them. I wish there were some way to find out what is going on in my brain so a cure could be found but no, there is not one. I have been diagnosed with chronic major depressive disorder but now we think I may be bipolar. Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just feel feeling that are moderate and sometimes with reason very happy/sad. Right now my feeling are blocked. I feel like I know what happy is but I cannot be it but at least I am not seeing and feeling all sad. I feel like crying but only because I feel this pressure to do something but I don't know what. I exercise like crazy now. I keep wanting to exercise which is good but not really. It says on the instructions and warning for this Abilify medication to not over exercise. Does anyone else feel this way? Is anyone out there experiencing anything like this at all? I see my husband living life like life were eternal like there is a reason to live and achieve so many things. I don't feel that. I feel that I can do anything I want now but there is a part of me that says "why do this if it will all cease to exist soon enough it would be like it never happened." Anyways, I am going to try to sleep now. Wish me luck I have a final exam to take. Need to find motivation and reason to do any of this... Ttyl